Who am I? I ask myself for everything has changed. It happened so fast and quickly, within a blink of an eye my tomorrows and future has vanished from what I once thought it to be. Now I stand at the crossroads of my life. And as I stand there debating the challenges that lay before me. I wonder. What will people think of me should I no longer be here? Did I make a difference in this world or leave behind me any mark that I was even here. What about where I am going? Is my direction the best for my future? And what of my Sophia? Have I made the right decisions and choices for her? Life is short and fragile. Life should be loved and lived and never wasted. I am not sure I even have accomplished that goal of Loving life and Living it or have I?
Have I touched the heart of any human? Have I lifted someone else or helped them on their way in this life? Have I been successful and achieved or have I been a detriment to myself or others? What is a measure of success? And who determines what that might be?
Recent events in my life have made me question. Question me, my own integrity, and my own purpose. Perhaps I have taken life more for granted than I should. Have I lived my life or has it lived me?
What do I want? For all that I wanted seems to have faded into the dark obis of yesterday and yet somehow there is still a hope for tomorrow. All I have known has changed and now I am here, looking into the face of another. A child, small and pure waiting for me to make my move. Giving all that I am and all I have. But that is just it… It is all I am and all I have. My future is changing and I hardly have say. Not begrudging this small being but embracing all that they are amidst the confusion, loss and frustration that I feel and experience. All the while knowing that they feel it too. What will my future hold and how will I do it? Being ever aware that they now depend on me too.
“Who am I?” I simply ask. Who I was has now changed just as my future and life has changed. Who am I?
I am a grandparent becoming a parent again. I am a grandparent giving my all to raise a child. I am a grandparent touching the life of a child, making a difference and a change. I am a grandparent sacrificing my happiness, wants and desires to give to a child for their benefit. I am a grandparent lifting a child up and helping them on their way. I am a grandparent giving my future to a child that I love.
Who am I? I am the door way to tomorrow for a child I am a Grand Parent parenting again. I am a child’s future and hope for tomorrow and the healing balm of yesterday’s whys. Who am I? I am a grandparent. And that surely is a measure of success.